|
Ditch The Cops That Are Busting A Party |
|
|
|
Please Check our NEW WIKI, there may be more updated information regarding This entry!
What You Need
Try to be semi-sober enough to run
The Ability to know what a cars headlights look like
Remember how to get home
What You Do
If you are at a party having a good time chillin drinking some beers with your friends, and all of a sudden the cops barge in, what do you do!!! Ok, now the cops shouldn't bother you since your obviously over 21 years of age if your viewing this website for drinking information, but if for some reason the cops decide they are going to be assholes and give everyone at the party tickets you don't want to be there. So here are a couple scenarios to help you out in case you run into this situation.
Scenario 1: Cops go swat style on the house, surrounding it from all sides making sure that all windows and doors are guarded. Apparently they ran out of donuts and were pissed off and had to take it out on someone, and that someone is the party your at. So they make everyone sit down and start taking names, doesnt matter how old you are, they are going to take your name down and send you a ticket in the mail. So what you do is as soon as the cops tell everyone to sit down, take your ID out and put it in your sock/shoe. The cops aren't going to pat everyone down to find an ID, so when its your turn just tell them you didn't bring it with you, you must have left it back at your place. They will do 1 of 2 things in this situation, either ask for your name, in which case just make some shit up, you have no ID they can't prove your not who you say you are. Or they will ask you to circle your name in the university phone book, HA! What a joke, circle some other douchebags name, problem solved.
Scenario 2: One cop comes to the house and starts writing tickets to the idiot freshmen that are stupid enough to hang around. In this situation you can probably jus sit in the basement and nobody will know your there. Or find an upstairs bathroom or a closet, cops are lazy they aren't going to search the house.
Scenario 3: Cops show up and you have a clear escape through a window... Go for it! Most cops are not going to chase you around campus just for a drinking ticket. They can write plenty of them for the morons that stuck around. Just some helpful hints, don't jump from houses that are more than 2 stories, and even some of those are dangerous, know your limits. I understand if you're drunk you probably wont feel as much pain, but your going to be that much slower trying to drag your broken femur with you as you run. The fat ass cop will probably easily catch you in that situation. Also, don't run directly to your home/dorm/apt. If the cops do keep up with you for a while, running straight inside and closing the door isn't going to keep them out. Go for as long as you can, when you think you've lost them then find the most out of the way path back to your place, and at this point just walk as soberly as you can, or steal a bike.
Scenario 4: You pass out at a party and the cops come. Well if this is the situation my friend, you are pretty much fucked. You can always put your wallet in your front pocket and then piss yourself. If I were a cop and came up on a kid that pissed himself, theres no way I would try to get a wallet from his pants, especially if its in the front. Hopefully someone else is there to tell the cops your fine and just sleeping. Otherwise you could end up in the hospital, then your really fucked. Hospital bills + drinking ticket = shitty semester, trust me.
So I hope you find these tips useful and entertaining, if you couldn't tell we're running out of "How-To" ideas, but really want to get some more. So keep an eye out for some random ones like this. And remember, your already 21, so the cops in your college town must be real dicks if they are giving anyone at the party a ticket.
Other Useful Links:
|
How To 
